S2 Updated Power Rankings

Richard Castle - contributing reporter

EDITOR NOTE - Apologies for the short and sweet update, but here are our initial power rankings for S2. I promise to get back to our standard quality of articles before long. 

• Best Record
• Boston 'Act As If' Afflects 
• 2nd Best
• Syracuse Firebirds
• 3rd Best
• St Louis Archers
• 4th Best
• Trenton Thunderbolts
• 5th Best
• New Orleans Voodoo

In future updates, we'll keep track of past power rankings, because what's the fun in rankings if we can't obsess over who's rising, who's falling, and who's spiraling into oblivion?  But work-life balance is limited at the moment...still. 

But for now, let's talk about expected wins - or, in other words, how teams SHOULD be playing. Are some squads punching above their weight class? Are others underperforming like a blockbuster flop? Time to separate reality from illusion. 

.706 - Trenton Thunderbolts (NL-N Champ)

.675 - Boston 'Act As If' Afflects (AL-E Champ)

.671 - Syracuse Firebirds (AL-N Champ)

.656 - St. Louis Archers (NL-E Champ)

.634 - New Orleans Voodoo (AL-S Champ)

.615 - Buffalo Bomb Squad 

.594 - Montgomery Fightins (AL Wildcard 1)

.594 - San Antonio Yo-Yo Bros Yo (NL Wildcard 2)

.568 - Indianapolis Speedsters (NL Wildcard 1)

.557 - Chicago Northsiders

.556 - Texas Toast (AL Wildcard 2)

.530 - Fresno Romans (NL-W Champ)

.523 - Mexico City Luchadors (NL-S Champ)

.519 - Salt Lake City Trappers (AL-W Champ)

.518 - Durham Corgis 

.505 - Baltimore IronBirds

.499 - Fargo Mud Dogs

.483 - Scottsdale Sazeracs 

.474 - New York Pizza Rats

.468 - Tacoma Armada

.468 - Tucson Road Runners

.456 - Rochester Mighty Flour Mills

.442 - Louisville Bourbon Chasers 

.434 - Arizona Canyon Kings

.431 - Charlotte Intimidators 

.423 - Helena Highlanders

.408 - Vancouver Blue Heron 

.373 - Cincinnati Redlegs

.355 - Colorado Springs Ranchers

.341 - Philadelphia Hooligans
.297 - Los Angeles Labradors

.295 - Nashville Hot

The dreaded watch list

 
Team                            On Pace Wins    Expect Win %

Nashville Hot                           55 W                48 W

Colorado Springs Ranchers     56 W                58 W

Los Angeles Labradors            58 W                48 W

S2 Updated Power rankings

Richard Castle - contributing reporter

EDITOR NOTE - Apologies for the short and sweet update, but here are our initial power rankings for S2. I promise to get back to our standard quality of articles before long. 

• Best Record
• Boston 'Act As If' Afflects 
• 2nd Best
• St Louis Archers
• 3rd Best
• Syracuse Firebirds
• 4th Best
• New Orleans Voodoo
• 5th Best
• Indianapolis Speedsters

In future updates, we'll keep track of past power rankings, because what's the fun in rankings if we can't obsess over who's rising, who's falling, and who's spiraling into oblivion?  

But for now, let's talk about expected wins - or, in other words, how teams SHOULD be playing. Are some squads punching above their weight class? Are others underperforming like a blockbuster flop? Time to separate reality from illusion. 

.667 - Syracuse Firebirds (AL-N Champ)

.652 - St. Louis Archers (NL-E Champ)

.641 - Trenton Thunderbolts (NL-N Champ)

.628 - New Orleans Voodoo (AL-S Champ)

.617 - Boston 'Act As If' Afflects (AL-E Champ)

.600 - Montgomery Fightins (AL Wildcard 1)

.595 - Indianapolis Speedsters (NL Wildcard 1)

.583 - Buffalo Bomb Squad 

.581 - San Antonio Yo-Yo Bros Yo (NL Wildcard 2)

.561 - Fresno Romans (NL-W Champ)

.541 - Mexico City Luchadors (NL-S Champ)

.537 - Chicago Northsiders

.535 - Texas Toast 

.532 - Scottsdale Sazeracs 

.526 - Durham Corgis (AL Wildcard 2)

.513 - Tacoma Armada

.511 - Baltimore IronBirds

.509 - Salt Lake City Trappers (AL-W Champ)

.504 - Fargo Mud Dogs

.482 - New York Pizza Rats

.477 - Louisville Bourbon Chasers 

.468 - Tucson Road Runners

.438 - Arizona Canyon Kings

.425 - Charlotte Intimidators 

.424 - Rochester Mighty Flour Mills

.417 - Helena Highlanders

.411 - Vancouver Blue Heron 

.399 - Cincinnati Redlegs

.353 - Philadelphia Hooligans

.343 - Colorado Springs Ranchers

.333 - Nashville Hot

.274 - Los Angeles Labradors

The dreaded list

 
Team                            On Pace Wins    Expect Win %

Los Angeles Labradors        51 W                44 W

Nashville Hot                       55 W                54 W

Colorado Springs Rachers   57 W                56 W

S2 - Initial Power Rankings

Richard Castle - contributing reporter

EDITOR NOTE - Apologies for the short and sweet update, but here are our initial power rankings for S2. I promise to get back to our standard quality of articles before long. 

• Best Record
• Boston 'Act As If' Afflects 
• 2nd Best
• Trenton Thunderbolts & Indianapolis Speedsters
• 3rd Best
• Syracuse Firebirds
• 4th Best
• Durham Corgis,  Salt Lake City Trappers, St Louis Archers
• 5th Best
• Tacoma Armada & San Antonio Yo-Yo Bros Yo

In future updates, we'll keep track of past power rankings, because what's the fun in rankings if we can't obsess over who's rising, who's falling, and who's spiraling into oblivion?  

But for now, let's talk about expected wins - or, in other words, how teams SHOULD be playing. Are some squads punching above their weight class? Are others underperforming like a blockbuster flop? Time to separate reality from illusion. 

.721 - Indianapolis Speedsters (NL-E Champ)

.662 - Boston 'Act As If' Afflects (AL-E Champ)

.651 - San Antonio Yo-Yo Bros Yo (NL-S Champ)

.626 - Trenton Thunderbolts (NL-N Champ)

.626 - Syracuse Firebirds (AL-N Champ)

.614 - Buffalo Bomb Squad (NL Wildcard 2)

.607 - St. Louis Archers (NL Wildcard 1)

.605 - Tacoma Armada (AL Wildcard 1)

.586 - Texas Toast 

.580 - Durham Corgis (AL-S Champ)

.565 - New Orleans Voodoo

.562 - Scottsdale Sazeracs (NL-W Champ)

.560 - Louisville Bourbon Chasers (AL Wildcard 2)

.528 - Salt Lake City Trappers (AL-W Champ)

.519 - Fresno Romans

.513 - Mexico City Luchadors

.505 - Montgomery Fightins

.495 - Tucson Road Runners

.480 - Baltimore IronBirds

.459 - Chicago Northsiders

.432 - Charlotte Intimidators 

.432 - New York Pizza Rats

.422 - Vancouver Blue Heron 

.411 - Arizona Canyon Kings

.397 - Philadelphia Hooligans

.392 - Rochester Mighty Flour Mills

.385 - Colorado Springs Ranchers

.363 - Cincinnati Redlegs

.351 - Helena Highlanders

.334 - Nashville Hot

.317 - Los Angeles Labradors

.294 - Fargo Mud Dogs

The dreaded list

 
Team                            On Pace Wins    Expect Win %

Fargo Mud Dogs                  47 W                48 W

Los Angeles Labradors        47 W                51 W

Colorado Springs Rachers   51 W                62 W

S2 Draft Order

Amy Amanda 'Triple A' Allen - contributing reporter

Alright Hardball Stitches fans, we have an updated draft order for Season 2 as it stands today. Current Round 1 and Comp Round as of the recent Type A/B signings. We've noted teams who have more than 2 picks. 

1. Cincinnati
2. Colorado Springs
3. Los Angeles
4. New York
5. Louisville
6. Baltimore - Type D
7. Mexico City
8. Nashville
9. Indianapolis - Type D
10. Rochester
11. Vancouver
12. Helena
13. Philadelphia
14. Fargo
15. Durham
16. San Antonio
17. Arizona
18. Tucson
19. Montgomery
20. Baltimore (2nd pick)
21. Chicago
22. Fresno
23. Tacoma
24. Charlotte
25. Louisville via Salt Lake City - Santiago Tapies (2nd pick)
26. Scottsdale
27. Indianapolis (2nd pick)
28. Scottsdale via Buffalo - Rajai Johnstone (2nd pick)
29. Texas
30. Boston
31. New Orleans
32. Syracuse
33. Nashville via St Louis - Jimmie Querecuto (2nd pick)
34. Trenton 
35. Nashville - A (3rd pick)
36. Louisville - A (3rd pick)
37. Philadelphia - A (2nd pick)
38. San Antonio - A (2nd pick)
39. Baltimore - A (2nd pick)
40. Charlotte - A (2nd pick)
41. Scottsdale - A (3rd pick)
42. Scottsdale - A (4th pick)
43. Nashville - B (4th pick)
44. Cincinnati - B (2nd pick)
45. Louisville - B (4th pick)
46. Vancouver - B (2nd pick)
47. Philadelphia - B (3rd pick)
48. Fargo - B (2nd pick)
49. Durham - B (2nd pick)
50. Arizona - B (2nd pick)
51. Tucson - B (2nd pick)
52. Scottsdale - B (5th pick)
53. Syracuse - B (2nd pick)
54. Nashville - B (5th pick)
55. Cincinnati - B (3rd pick)
56. Louisville - B (5th pick)
57. Tucson - B (3rd pick)

Remaining Type A/B players in Free Agency (I could be missing some)

• DH Ehire Arruebarrena - A - Chicago
• LF Lee Benningson - B - Salt Lake City
• LF Eugenio Flores - B - Salt Lake City
• CF Bip Sanders - B - St Louis
• CF Alan Bulger - B - Charlotte
• RP Danny Beverlin,  - B - Los Angeles

"Heat Check!" Season 2 Edition

 As we begin Season 2 here in Hardball Stitches, let's take a second to take the temperature of the room...I mean league! A full explanation of the methodology can be found here, but the quick recap is that you add points for a winning season, add even more for winning 95+ games and then get bonuses for playoff victories, pennants and World Series Rings. Teams with losing records don't earn any points and everyone, regardless of success last season, starts off a little cooler than they ended the previous season because the players spent a little while resting, recovering and getting a little rusty in the process. This is where everyone stands heading into our sophomore season: 

Boiling Hot (Above 212*F/100*C or better)

Steamy (Above 100*F/37.8*C)

Warm (Above Room Temperature, aka 72*F/?*C)

• St. Louis +8 for 110 win season, +25 for WS win ended at 105*F *.9085 = 95.4*F
• Texas +5 for 94 win season, +15 for Pennant, ended at 92*F *.9085 = 83.6*F
• Boston +8 for 95 win season,  +8 playoff wins ended at 88*F *.9085 = 79.9*F
• Trenton +8 for 113 wins, +4 playoff wins ended at 84*F *.9085 = 76.3*F
• New Orleans +8 for 96 wins, +2 playoff wins ended at 82*F * .9085 = 74.5*F
• Buffalo +5 for 90 wins, +5 playoff wins ended at 82*F *.9085 = 74.5*F
• Indianapolis +5 for 89 wins +5 playoffs wins ended at 82*F *.9085 = 74.5*F
• Syracuse +8 for 103 wins, +1 playoff win ended at 81*F *.9085 = 73.6*F

Cool (Below Room Temperature, aka 72*F/?*C) 

• Scottsdale +5 for 89 wins +2 playoff wins ended at 79*F *.9085 = 71.8*F
• Tacoma +5 for 88 wins +1 playoff win ended at 78*F *.9085 = 70.9*F
• Charlotte +5 for 88 wins +1 playoff win ended at 78*F *.9085 = 70.9*F
• Salt Lake City +5 for 88 wins +1 playoff win ended at 78*F *.9085 =  70.9*F
• Fresno +5 for 87 win season but no playoffs = 77*F * .9085 = 70.0*F
• Baltimore +5 for 87 win season but no playoffs = 77*F * .9085 =  70.0*F
• Chicago +5 for 85 win season but no playoffs = 77*F * .9085 =  70.0*F
• Montgomery losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• Arizona losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• Tucson  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• Durham  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• Fargo  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F 
• Philadelphia  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• Mexico City  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• New York  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• Vancouver  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• Colorado Springs  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• Helena  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• Cleveland  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• Scranton  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• Cincinnati  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• Nashville  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F
• Los Angeles  losing season earned no points and ended @ 72*F * .9085 = 65.4*F

Freezing Cold (Below 32*F/0*C)

Absolutely Frigid (Below 0*F/?*C)

Mexico City Luchadors Welcome Johnny Bland, Confuse and Concern Fans

 MEXICO CITY — The Mexico City Luchadors are thrilled to announce the signing of starting pitcher Johnny Bland, a right-hander known for his control, calm demeanor, and a fastball that’s been described as “respectably average.”

However, the announcement caused widespread confusion among fans, many of whom believed “Johnny Bland” was not a new player, but instead a new restaurant opening at the ballpark—one that serves only bland, flavorless food.

“I thought it was, like, one of those American-style concepts,” said longtime Luchadors fan Elena Márquez, shaking her head. “No spice, no flavor, everything beige. I was ready to protest. Turns out he’s a pitcher. I guess that’s better?”

The team’s signage didn’t help. With banners reading “The Future is Bland” and “Taste the Johnny Bland Experience”, many fans feared the club was abandoning its bold culinary and cultural roots in favor of pandering to tourists.

“I was expecting turkey sandwiches with no condiments,” said fan Carlos Jiménez. “I mean, Johnny Bland? That sounds like a guy who thinks black pepper is risky. Then I found out he throws a decent slider, and I was like, okay, that’s slightly spicy.”

The misunderstanding spread quickly online, with several memes featuring imagined “Bland Menu Specials” going viral. Among the top items: unsalted boiled potatoes, toast without butter, and water. Just water.

“This feels like the start of something worrying,” said local taco vendor Martín Rodríguez, grilling outside the park. “First they sign Johnny Bland, next thing you know, they’re putting raisins in the mole. We have to stay vigilant.”

Team officials stepped in late Friday to clarify. “Johnny Bland is, in fact, a person,” said GM Rafa Morales. “He throws strikes, not salads. He has never opened a restaurant. He does not own a food truck. He does enjoy grilled chicken, but that’s not a crime.”

Bland, for his part, seemed mildly amused by the attention. “I’ve been called bland before,” he said at a press conference. “Usually by my ex-girlfriends, not an entire city. But hey—I’m here to pitch, and I’m open to trying hot sauce.”