Name That Player (and help a friend!)

  Hello Hive Mind!

The blog is returning with a new feature: interactive feedback. Before we get to the interactive portion, a little background is needed. IRL, I am a Special Education teacher tasked with teaching executive functioning skills to middle schoolers with ADHD. Being a former ADHD middle school boy myself, I know those kinds of lessons can be rather boring sometimes...and then when I was reading a WIS box score at lunch one day it hit me: I can use this site to my advantage to sneak executive functioning skills into things they view as just a big game. 

The premise: They get to start a franchise in the sport of their choice from scratch and be owner/GM/all other things (except players.) I will then use the Dream Team feature of WIS to make their dreams a reality and make them carry out the tasks of the various roles as we go and "accidentally" practice the executive functioning skills along the way. I started by having them choose a name and location for their teams, then asked them to pick their ideal starting lineups using any combination of players they wanted. 

Most of them understood the assignment, chose real athletes and I'll be able to set their teams up over the holiday break. A few got a little confused...and one student in particular fielded a baseball team that gave me a few good laughs and finally brings us to the interactive portion of today's post. The lineup and justifications for the student's selections are as follows: 

• Catcher-Helen Keller "because she'd offer good support"
• First Base- Taiki Shuttle (the horse) "because he's also a good runner" 
• Second Base- Hatsune Miku (the Japanese musical artist) "because they're a good runner" 
• Third Base-Big Papi ("A legend") 
• Shortstop-Stone Cold Steve Austin ("because he tackles the other team") 
• Outfield-Fredrick Douglas ("he would like it")
• Outfield-{her Middle School English Teacher} ("he's probably good") 
• Outfield-Dr. Gregory House ("to insult the other team") 
• Pitcher-Tractor Supply Manager...Just One Guy (no reason given) 
• Pitcher-Myself ("I was good at pitching") NOTE: she's a small caucasian female, currently in 9th grade

The interactive piece is that I need the help of this community to brainstorm actual players I can put into WIS' Dream Team in order to simulate games for this most glorious and entertaining of squads. My goal is to match personalities as closely as possible to the provided descriptions (ie Miku would ideally be an Asian player known for speed etc.) Let the brainstorming begin, and send me your thoughts via Trade Chat, Sitemail or simply post in World Chat 😀

Heat Check: Season 3 Edition

This is the third installment in the Heat Check series, where we check in on how successful franchises have been using a thermometer as our reference scale. The short version of how this is calculated is that teams earn points for winning seasons and postseason success and teams with losing records stay the same...and then everyone goes a little backwards between the last out of the World Series and the first long toss of Spring Training because even virtual baseball players deserve some time off and get a little rusty.  The longer version, including the formulas and the inspiration for this series, can be found here. Without further ado, let's see how everyone is doing with two seasons of data to work with: 

Boiling Hot (Above 212*F/100*C or better)

Steamy (Above 100*F/37.8*C)

• Trenton: Started S2 @ 86.3*, won 106 games + Division Title + Pennant, starts S3 @ 102*F
• Syracuse: Started S2 @ 75.7* won 111 games, Division Title + WS Ring, starts S3 @ 101.5*F  

Warm (Above Room Temperature, aka 72*F/?*C)

• St. Louis: Started S2 @ 95.4*, won 111 games + Division Title, starts S3 @ 96.7*F
• Texas: started S2 @ 83.6*F, won 84 games + made playoffs, starts S3 @ 80.5*F
• Boston: Started S2 @ 75.7*F, won 119 games + Division Title, starts S3 @ 78.8*F (214 wins all time) 
• New Orleans: Started S2 @ 75.7*, won 106 games + Division Title, starts S3 @ 78.8*F (202 wins all time)

Cool (Below Room Temperature, aka 72*F/?*C)

• Fresno: Started S2 @ 70*, won 83 games & made playoffs, starts S3 @ 71.1*F
• Indianapolis: Started @ 70*, won 97 games + made playoffs, starts S3 @ 70.8*F
• Buffalo: Started @ 70*, won 91 games + made playoffs, starts S3 @ 68.1*F (181 wins all time)
• Chicago (NL): Started S2 @ 70*, won 88 games & missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 68.1*F (173 wins all time)
• Mexico City: Started S2 @ 65.4*, won 88 games & made playoffs, starts S3 @ 67*F
• Salt Lake City: Started S2 @ 73*F, won 81 games + made playoffs, starts S3 @ 66.3*F (169 wins all time)
• Scottsdale: Starts S2 @ 73*, won 74 games & missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 66.3*F (163 wins all time)
• Charlotte: Started S2 @ 73*, won 67 games & missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 66.3*F (155 wins all time)
• Montgomery: Started S2 @ 65.4*, won 88 games + made playoffs, starts S3 @ 64.0*F (168 wins all time)
• San Antonio: Started S2 @ 65.4*, won 86 games & missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 64.0*F (162 wins all time)
• Durham: Started @ 65.4*F, won 83 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 64.0*F (159 wins all time)
• Tacoma: Started S2 @ 70*, won 78 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 63.6*F (166 wins all time)
• Baltimore: Started S2 @ 70*, won 70 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 63.6*F (162 wins all time)
• Tucson: Started S2 @ 65.4*F, won 80 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 59.4*F (157 wins all time)
• Fargo: Started S2 @ 65.4*F, won 80 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 59.4*F (155 wins all time) 
• New York: Started S2, won 77 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 59.4*F (148 wins all time)
• Arizona: Started S2 @ 65.4*F, won 66 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 59.4*F (143 wins all time)
• Rochester: Started @ 65.4*F, won 65 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 59.4*F (138 wins all time)
• Helena: Started @ 65.4*F, won 65 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 59.4*F (136 wins all time); Vancouver: Started S2 @ 65.4*F,  won 65 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 59.4*F (136 wins all time)
• Philadelphia: Started S2 @ 65.4*F, won 61 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 59.4*F (134 wins all time) & Louisville: Started S2 @ 65.4*F, won 67 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 59.4*F (134 wins all time)
• Colorado Springs: Started S2 @ 65.4*F, won 58 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 59.4*F (129 wins all time) 
• Cincinnati: Started @ 65.4*F, won 62 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 59.4*F (122 wins all time)
• Los Angeles: Started @ 65.4*F, won 61 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 59.4*F (117 wins all time)
• Nashville: Started @ 65.4*F, won 57 games + missed playoffs, starts S3 @ 59.4*F (114 wins all time) 

Freezing Cold (Below 32*F/0*C)

Absolutely Frigid (Below 0*F/-17.8*C)

S4 Initial Power Rankings

Richard Castle - contributing reporter

Ladies and gentlemen, baseball romantics, and those of you who read these rankings purely out of spite—welcome back. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Long enough that I half-expected to return and find the league replaced by robots, scandals, or a shocking midseason plot twist involving identical twins. But no—Hardball Stitches is alive, dramatic as ever, and finally ready to unveil the very first power rankings of Season 4.

Now, early-season rankings are a bit like first chapters: wildly misleading, full of red herrings, and guaranteed to break someone’s heart by page ten. But that’s the fun of it. New contenders rise from the shadows, old favorites stumble out of the gate, and at least one team inevitably insists, “We’re better than our record.” Sure, and I’m a quiet, subtle writer who hates attention.

But enough preamble. The scene is set, the suspects are assembled, and the plot is already thickening faster than a New York cheesecake. So grab your magnifying glass—or your popcorn. Season 4’s story begins now, and trust me… you’re going to want to read every word.

• Best Record
• Fargo Mud Dogs
• 2nd Best
• Baltimore IronBirds & Trenton Thunderbolts
• 3rd Best
• Boston Act As If Afflects
• 4th Best
• St Louis Archers
• 5th Best
• Syracuse Firebirds & Texas Toast

But for now, let's talk about expected wins - or, in other words, how teams SHOULD be playing. Are some squads punching above their weight class? Are others underperforming like a blockbuster flop? Time to separate reality from illusion. 

.736 - Trenton Thunderbolts (NL-N Champ)

.679 - Boston 'Act As If' Afflects (AL Wildcard 1) & Baltimore IronBirds (AL-E Champ)

.675 - Fargo Mud Dogs (AL-N Champ)

.629 - St. Louis Archers (NL-E Champ)

.609 - Texas Toast (AL-S Champ)

.600 - Chicago Northsiders (NL Wildcard 1)

.583 - Buffalo Bomb Squad & Montgomery Fightins

.541 - Syracuse Firebirds (AL Wildcard 2)

.540 - Tucson Road Runners (NL-W Champ)

.536 - San Antonio Yo-Yo Bros Yo (NL Wildcard 2)

.512 - Cincinnati Redlegs

.495 - Fresno Romans

.493 - Mexico City Luchadors

.491 - New Orleans Voodoo

.489 - Tacoma Armada 

.485 - Vancouver Blue Heron

.477 - New York Pizza Rats

.467 - Colorado Springs Ranchers

.463 - Durham Corgis

.462 - Indianapolis Speedsters 

.458 - Nashville Hot (NL-S Champ)

.426 - Philadelphia Hooligans

.411 - Rochester Mighty Flour Mills

.398 - Los Angeles Labradors (AL-W Champ)

.391 - Scottsdale Sazeracs

.378 - Louisville Bourbon Chasers

.362 - Helena Highlanders

.352 - Salt Lake City Trappers

.324 - Arizona Canyon Kings

.316 - Charlotte Intimidators 

The dreaded list

 
Team                            On Pace Wins    Expect Win %

Salt Lake City Trappers       45 W                57 W

Arizona Canyon Kings        53 W                53 W

S4 The Six-Tier Mirage: Dispatches from the International Frontier

Eli Cash - contributing reporter

I was sitting in a hotel bar in Santo Domingo when the first whispers came through the ceiling fan — the kind of whispers that smell like ambition and motor oil. Six tiers. Six layers of the economic afterlife. A new system to measure what a team can spend on hope, or at least the version of hope that throws ninety-seven and can hit a curveball in the dark. The bartender told me the tiers were supposed to make things “fair.” I told him fairness is a rumor spread by accountants.

Tier One rides tall — these are the desert kings, the oil scions, the men who believe the world was built so they could sign it. Their checkbooks glint like machetes in the sun. They don’t scout — they summon. You can almost hear the laughter of the gods when they announce a $5 million bonus for a kid who hasn’t yet learned to shave. I envy them in the way one might envy a thunderstorm: destructive, inevitable, and somehow poetic.

Indianapolis 

Tier Two is not so rich in blood or gold, but they still carry a certain nobility — like the second son of a forgotten dynasty, sipping flat champagne in the shadow of empire. These teams still dream big, but they have to dream clever. They talk about “market inefficiencies” as if that’s a kind of faith. I’ve seen their scouts sleeping in airports, translating potential into per diem receipts. There’s a sadness in it, but also a kind of quiet art.

Charlotte

Salt Lake City

Fresno

Tier Three lives in the gray — what I call the philosophical middle class of baseball. They can afford to gamble, but only on a horse that’s already half-broken. These are the teams who find poetry in the waiver wire, who believe every $600,000 shortstop from Caracas might just be the key to eternal life. I respect their delusion. I share it.

Tacoma

Philadelphia

Helena

Baltimore

Arizona

Durham

Vancouver

Tier Four is where the mirage starts to fade. They wander the same desert as the rest, but their canteens are dry. You’ll hear their GMs talk about “development focus,” “internal growth,” and “strategic restraint.” I’ve used all those phrases myself, usually right before my editor stops returning calls. They don’t buy players — they rent dreams. Sometimes the dreams come due. Usually they don’t.

Cincinnati

Rochester

Scottsdale

Colorado Springs

Texas

Tier Five… well, these are the haunted ones. They’re the teams whose fax machines still hum with regret. They know the numbers, the limitations, the futility of their chase, and yet they show up at the market anyway — like a man showing up to a duel with a pocketknife and a poem. I admire their courage, though it often looks like confusion. Somewhere deep down, they must believe that destiny still accepts credit.

Chicago

Boston

Tucson

Trenton

Nashville

Los Angeles

Montgomery

New York

Louisville

And then there’s Tier Six. The forgotten pilgrims. The ones who watch the whole show from the cheap seats of history. Their budgets are smaller than the tip line at Tier One’s team dinner. Yet somehow, they persist — the monks of the market, trading faith instead of funds. Maybe they’ll find a kid out there who doesn’t care about money, just the smell of leather and red dirt. Maybe they won’t. Either way, they’ll tell themselves it’s noble.

Buffalo

San Antonio

New Orleans

Mexico City

Fargo

St Louis

Syracuse

Because that’s the trick, isn’t it? The market isn’t about money — it’s about mythology. Every team believes it’s building a legend. Every scout believes he’s found a ghost. Every general manager thinks he’s outsmarted gravity. But in the end, they all wake up in the same heat, under the same sky, staring at the same mirage that keeps the whole thing moving.

I left the bar that night and walked out into the alley behind the stadium. A kid was throwing a ball against a rusted fence — barefoot, balanced on dreams alone. I asked him what tier he thought he belonged to. He shrugged and said, “The one that signs me.”

Maybe that’s the only truth there is. The tiers are just scaffolding. The rest is dust and destiny.

S4 Draft Order

Amy Amanda 'Triple A' Allen - contributing reporter

Alright Hardball Stitches fans, we have an updated draft order for Season 4 as it stands today. Current Round 1 and Comp Round as of the recent Type A/B signings. We've noted teams who have more than 2 picks. 7 of the 18 Type As were compensated with 1st round picks, 

1. Arizona
2. Baltimore
3. Charlotte
4. Louisville
5. Scottsdale
6. Cincinnati
7. Colorado Springs - Type D
8. Durham
9. Nashville
10. Vancouver
11. Philadelphia
12. Los Angeles
13. Rochester
14. Colorado Springs (2nd pick)
15. New York
16. Helena
17. Salt Lake City
18. Tacoma
19. Buffalo
20. Tacoma via Mexico City - Deven Bickerton (2nd pick)
21. Chicago
22. Mexico City via Montgomery - Allie Walls
23. Texas
24. Tacoma - Type D (3rd pick)
25. Indianapolis
26. Tucson
27. San Antonio
28. Charlotte via Fesno - Howard Quinn (2nd pick)
29. Boston
30. Texas via New Orleans - Jose Rios (2nd pick)
31. Charlotte via Fargo - Benji Richardson (3rd pick)
32. Syracuse
33. Charlotte via Trenton - Vincete DeSoto (4th pick)
34. Baltimore via St Louis - Joe Winston (2nd pick)
35. Charlotte - A (5th pick)
36. Arizona - A (2nd pick)
37. Baltimore - A (3rd pick)
38. Tacoma - A  (4th pick)
39. Mexico City - A (2nd pick)
40. Texas - A (3rd pick)
41. Tucson - A (2nd pick)
42. Fresno - A
43. Boston - A (2nd pick)
44. Trenton - A
45. St Louis - A
46. Charlotte - A (6th pick)
47. Mexico City - A (3rd pick)
48. Texas - A (4th pick)
49. Boston - A (3rd pick)
50. St Louis - A (2nd pick)
51. Boston - A (4th pick)
52. St Louis - A (3rd pick)
53. Durham - B (2nd pick)
54. Nashville - B (2nd pick)
55. Charlotte - B (7th pick)
56. Vancouver - B (2nd pick)
57. Baltimore - B (4th pick)
58. Los Angeles - B (2nd pick)
59. Colorado Springs - B (3rd pick)
60. Tacoma - B (5th pick)
61. Chicago - B (2nd pick)
62. Indianapolis - B (2nd pick)
63. New Orleans - B
64. Fargo - B
65. Nashville - B (3rd pick)
66. Indianapolis - B (3rd pick)
67. New Orleans - B (2nd pick)
68. Fargo - B (2nd pick)

Remaining Type A/B players in Free Agency (I could be missing some)

• LF Gerald Ledee - B - Scottsdale
• 3B Leo Gwynn - B - Trenton
• SS Feliple Tabata - B - Rochester
• LF Al Ruffin - B - Cincinnati
• RF Brendan Craig - B - Vancouver

The Ball That Shouldn’t Have Risen

 Jack Torrance - contributing reporter

It begins, as all miracles and nightmares do — quietly.

The baseballs are spinning. A cyclone of white leather, red seams, and blind hope. Inside the glass, they crash and ricochet, each one desperate to be the one. The audience breathes in unison, like a congregation watching a storm crawl toward their church.

The lights flicker. The air hums.

Then something happens.
A tremor.
A sound that isn’t mechanical, not quite.

And from the churning storm — a single ball begins to rise.

Slowly. Too slowly.

The studio is frozen. Cameras fix on it, lenses wide and trembling. A murmur ripples through the crowd, that low, uncertain murmur that always comes before revelation.

The ball spins, turns, reveals a mark — faint, almost hesitant — Arizona Canyon Kings.

For a heartbeat, no one reacts. The odds said 3.90%. The math said almost impossible.
But the machine — the machine never lies.

Then the eruption comes. Cheers, disbelief, the stunned laughter of a team that just watched the laws of probability bend in their favor. Arizona rises from the desert dust, crowned in the glow of the first overall pick.

---

Across the stage, Baltimore blinks twice, still unsure if it’s real.
Their odds were lower — 2.7%, almost nothing — yet they’ve clawed up to the No. 2 pick. A miracle, or maybe just another trick of the glass. Either way, the Ironbirds are soaring tonight, and everyone knows it.

The rest fall into place, one by one — a roll call of the faithful, the broken, the nearly blessed.

1. Arizona Canyon Kings

2. Baltimore Ironbirds

3. Charlotte Intimidators

4. Louisville Bourbon Chasers

5. Scottsdale Sazeracs

6. Cincinnati Redlegs

7. Durham Corgis

8. Nashville Hot

9. Vancouver Seawolves

10. Philadelphia Hooligans

11. Los Angeles Labradors

12. Rochester Mighty Flour Mills

13. Colorado Springs Ranchers

14. New York Pizza Rats

15. Helena Highlanders

16. Salt Lake City Trappers

---

Somewhere in the back row, a man from Durham rubs his temples. They had hope — always do — but the machine had other plans. Charlotte and Louisville trade polite smiles that don’t reach their eyes. New York sits still, the kind of stillness that smells like resentment.

The studio lights burn too bright now. The chrome glistens, the glass gleams, and for a strange moment, the entire stage feels alive — breathing, pulsing, feeding on every gasp, every cheer, every broken sigh.

Someone whispers, “It chose Arizona,” and the phrase lingers like frost on the tongue.

The host smiles again — that same hotel-lobby smile — and declares the lottery complete. Cameras flash. Confetti falls. The crowd exhales.

But the machine keeps humming.
It always hums.
Because even when the lights go out, it remembers who it lifted up…
and who it left behind.