Ladies and gentlemen, grab your peanuts and cracker jacks because history is happening! We're officially a quarter of the way through the inaugural Hardball Stitches season, which means it's time for the first-ever power rankings. That's right - milestones are being made, legacies are being written, and some teams...well, some teams are just hoping no one notices them circling the drain.
First, we'll take a quick look at the top five records, because hey, they've earned their moment in the sun. Then, we'll break down the American and National League to see which teams are rising like phoenixes and which are crashing like a bad sequel. But why stop there? No, we're going full sci-fi thriller and handing over ranking duties to Skynet - because if there's one system that definitely won't turn against us, it's the one built to end civilization. Skynet will not only rank the teams but also grade their hitting and pitching on MLB's 80-scale. Will its calculations be fair? A harbinger of baseball's impending doom? Stay tuned. And because drama is the heart of any good story, future updates will track who's rising, who's falling, and who's desperately clinging to relevance. Then, we'll dive into expected win percentages to find out who's playing above their weight class and who's just waiting for reality to dropkick them back down the standings.
Finally, we'll check in on the teams flirting dangerously with the dreaded 55-win minimum- because nothing spices up a season like the looming threat of failure and consequences. So grab your popcorn, folks. The rankings are in, and Skynet is watching.
- Best Record
- St. Louis Archers (NL-E)
- 2nd Best
- Trenton Thunderbolts (NL-N)
- 3rd Best
- Syracuse Firebirds (AL-N)
- 4th Best
- Vancouver Blue Heron (AL-W), Tucson Road Runners (NL-W)
- 5th Best
- Buffalo Bomb Squad (NL-N), Charlotte Intimidators (NL-S)
The National League is crafting a story of its own, with plot twists and power struggles worthy of a bestseller. Leading the charge are the Trenton Thunderbolts, owners of the second-best record in Hardball Stitches. But their grip on the division crown is anything but secure, with the Buffalo Bomb Squad lurking just four games back, ready to detonate their lead at a moment’s notice. Meanwhile, in the NL East, we have pure dominance. The St. Louis Masters have been, well, masters of their domain, barely breaking a sweat as they still haven’t hit double-digit losses. That is, until they ran into the Chicago Northsiders, who pulled off a shocking three-game sweep. But even with that stumble, St. Louis still holds a 14-game lead. At this point, the rest of the division might need a miracle, a time machine, or both to catch up. In the NL South, the Charlotte Intimidators are four games up on the Mexico City Luchadors—but if they’re not careful, they could be staring down a classic 1…2…3… and a division title for Charlotte. Lucha libre might be flashy, but winning games is what counts. Out West, things are shaping up for a showdown in the desert. The Tucson Road Runners have a two-game edge over the Scottsdale Sazeracs, but with a race this close, expect plenty of lead changes and late-season drama.
One thing’s for sure: this league is serving up high stakes, big moments, and just the right amount of chaos—exactly the way we like it.
In future updates, we'll keep track of past power rankings, because what's the fun in rankings if we can't obsess over who's rising, who's falling, and who's spiraling into oblivion?
But for now, let's talk about expected wins - or, in other words, how teams SHOULD be playing. Are some squads punching above their weight class? Are others underperforming like a blockbuster flop? Time to separate reality from illusion.
.764 - St. Louis Archers (NL-E Champ)
.723 - Trenton Thunderbolts (NL-N Champ)
.683 - Buffalo Bomb Squad (NL Wildcard 1)
.661 - Syracuse Firebirds (AL-N Champ)
.617 - Los Angeles Labradors
.612 - Tucson Road Runners (NL-W Champ)
.600 - Texas Toast (AL Wildcard 2)
.595 - Vancouver Blue Heron (AL-W Champ)
.579 - Scottsdale Sazeracs (NL Wildcard 2)
.555 - Montgomery Fightins (AL Wildcard 1)
.544 - Charlotte Intimidators (NL-S Champ)
.523 - New Orleans Voodoo
.519 - Boston 'Act As If' Afflects
.508 - Fresno Romans
.497 - San Antonio Yo-Yo Bros Yo
.494 - Durham Corgis (AL-S Champ)
.492 - Chicago Northsiders
.490 - Salt Lake City Trappers
.478 - Helena Highlanders
.471 - Arizona Canyon Kings
.467 - Mexico City Luchadors
.451 - Tacoma Armada
.432 - Cleveland Guardians
.417 - Indianapolis Speedsters
.416 - Baltimore IronBirds
.410 - Fargo Mud Dogs
.407 - Philadelphia Jawns (AL-E Champ)
.403 - Colorado Springs Ranchers
.379 - Cincinnati Redlegs
.344 - New York Pizza Rats
.298 - Scranton Paper Weights
.244 - Nashville Hot
Ah, the dreaded list - where no team wants to find itself, yet here we are. These squads are teetering dangerously close to the Hardball Stitches commissioner's unforgiving 55-win threshold. Will there be mercy in this inaugural season? Perhaps. But make no mistake - the rule still stands, and the baseball gods are watching. Play ball... or perish.
Team On Pace Wins Expect Win %
Nashville Hot 49 W 40 W
Scranton Paper Weights 49 W 48 W
Finally let's stack the divisions against each other and find out which one truly brings the heat. Which division is relentless gauntlet of competition, and which one is letting a team waltz to the top uncontested? Bragging rights are on the light, let's see who's really battling it out and who's just along for the ride. Tie breaker goes to division with team with best record.
The results are in, the AL South stands alone as the toughest division in Hardball Stitches - not a single team below .500. That's right, every squad is in the fight, making every game a battle and every win hard-earned. If you're looking for a true test of strength, look no further. Survive the AL South and you can survive anything.
90-70 - AL South
87-73 - NL North
84-76 - NL West
80-80 - AL West
78-82 - AL North
75-85 - NL South
74-86 - NL East
72-88 - AL East