Dog Masked Owner Vows Revenge “In Nine Innings or Less”
MEXICO CITY — In a shocking turn of events that blurred the already paper-thin line between professional baseball and professional wrestling, injured star pitcher Franchy Rolison stormed the ring during last night’s AAA World Heavyweight Title match, costing Mexico City Luchadors owner and notorious heel wrestler Señior Perro his shot at championship gold.
Perro, decked out in his gold lucha mask and “Bark to the Future” cape, was just moments away from defeating reigning champion El Hijo de Vikingo when Rolison, still wearing his arm sling, appeared at ringside.
Eyewitnesses say Rolison climbed onto the apron, pointed directly at Perro, and yelled, “I’m not French, and you’re not champion!” before hurling a regulation Major League baseball at Perro’s tail.
The distraction allowed Vikingo to hit his signature 450 Degree Senton Splash and pin Perro for the three-count, retaining the title.
“It was the most baseball I’ve seen in a wrestling ring since that one time Randy Johnson fought a giant parrot,” said one fan, still covered in spilled nacho cheese from the chaos.
Perro’s Reaction
A livid Señior Perro, pacing backstage after the loss, called the interference “the biggest travesty in lucha libre since the invention of gluten-free churros.”
“This was supposed to be my moment!” he barked to reporters. “I’ve been training for months—lifting dumbbells, running up pyramid steps, learning to fake cry for sympathy promos—and that non-French pitcher ruins it? I’ll have my revenge, and it’ll be fastball-quick.”
Perro claims Rolison’s involvement proves “beyond a shadow of a doubt” that he was faking his shoulder injury all along, citing his “perfect throwing mechanics” during the baseball toss. Rolison responded via social media with a simple GIF of a dog chasing its own tail.
The Baseball-Wrestling Feud Intensifies
AAA officials have already teased a possible Lucha Libre vs. Baseball crossover event, tentatively titled “Bat Flips & Body Slams”, which would feature Perro facing Rolison in a special Loser Wears a Beretmatch.
Fans are already speculating on potential stipulations:
- Steel Bat on a Pole Match
- Bullpen Brawl (winner decided in extra innings or sudden death pinfall)
- Mascot Lumberjack Match featuring both wrestling and baseball mascots surrounding the ring
Vikingo’s Take
Champion El Hijo de Vikingo, sipping from a celebratory horchata, said he “fully supports more baseball players interfering” in matches. “If they keep taking out my challengers, I might hold this belt forever,” he laughed.
Next Steps
Perro has promised that this feud will not stay in the squared circle. “If he wants to play baseball, fine. But I own a baseball team. Guess who’s about to get sweet chin music every time he comes to the plate.
Sources confirm Rolison has already begun training for a potential in-ring debut, incorporating baseball slides into lucha sequences and perfecting a new finishing move known as The Curveball Clutch.
As one commentator put it:
“Mexico’s about to find out what happens when a pitcher and a perro go to war—and it’s going to be a grand slam of chaos.”
