MEXICO CITY — Facing mounting public suspicion over the mysterious shoulder injury to star pitcher Franchy Rolison, Mexico City Luchadors owner and notorious heel wrestler Señior Perro kicked off a “Goodwill Tour” this week to clear his name and “show the people I am a dog of honor.”
The tour’s first stop—a local elementary school—was intended to inspire young fans. Instead, Perro alarmed parents when, during a Q&A, he blurted out:
“Remember, niños, never sneak up behind a man and hit him with the Flying Churro Elbow unless you’re absolutely sure he’s French.”
Perro quickly clarified, “That was purely hypothetical,” but the damage was done.
At a charity softball game the next day, Perro’s publicist asked him to address the Rolison rumors head-on.
“Look, I didn’t injure Franchy. I mean, yes, I was in the parking lot at the time. Yes, I was wearing my gold mask. Yes, I was holding a folding chair. But that doesn’t prove anything in lucha court.”
The “goodwill” efforts only spiraled further in Guadalajara, where Perro attended a televised cooking show. While demonstrating how to make “Pitcher’s Pie,” he accidentally mimed a perfect wrestling armbar.
“This is how you tenderize the meat—uh, I mean… metaphorically… with consent,” he stammered as the host slowly slid away from him on camera.
Meanwhile, Rolison, still rehabbing his shoulder, posted a cryptic message on social media: “I see the dog is barking louder these days. Must be feeling guilty.”
Public opinion remains divided. Some fans still adore Perro, citing his recent donation of 100 lucha masks to an orphanage. Others point to the fact that each mask came with a small note reading, “Wear this if you ever want to win… or avoid injury.”
Next week’s stop on the Goodwill Tour is a public meet-and-greet at a local gym—ironically, the very same one where Rolison trained before his injury. Security has been tripled, and event organizers have placed a strict “no folding chairs” rule in place.
When asked how he feels about public skepticism, Perro just grinned beneath his mask.
“A true heel knows that even when the crowd boos, they’re still paying for tickets.”
The Luchadors front office insists the tour is working. “He’s been on the news every day,” said one PR intern, “which is technically… awareness.”